I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
