you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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