all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
