4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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