I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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