If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
this hospital has no fireball
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
