He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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