It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
