she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize