another moral hangover. fuck.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
