Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
