I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
as a side note pls kill me
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize