I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
