You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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