Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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