I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
