i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
