3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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