I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
