i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize