im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
