every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize