This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
