I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
