You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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