Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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