she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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