Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
