I'm going to rape someone's good day.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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