If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
