he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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