how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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