Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
