Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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