We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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