Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
