Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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