Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?

(567): View more from Ohio

EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.

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(253): View more from Washington

She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.

Fav 21 8854 1088
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(763): View more from Minnesota

i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina

Fav 30 1272 8140
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(904): View more from Florida

way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...

(1-904): View more from Florida

I saved lives by not driving this morning

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.

Fav 5 2574 994
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(417): View more from Missouri

Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.

Fav 2 1609 622
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(313): View more from Michigan

Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?

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(856): View more from New Jersey

extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry

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(585): View more from New York

I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.

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