i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
