Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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