he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize