I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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