so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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