I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
