Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
