fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
