I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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