i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
