You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
soo... how was my night?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
