take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
