Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Congratulations! We have a period
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize