I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
