Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
