its not stalking. its research.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
