that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Randomize
