omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Your dad touched me again.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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