I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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